Out the gate, let’s be perfectly clear: I do not hate men. This is not an anti-male blog whatsoever. But, to get the point across in this blog, I’m going to have to lay down some truths about men that may leave them a little uncomfortable–maybe not.
Men (the majority) possess a sort of callousness, a hardness about them. On the one hand, this is necessary, because quite often men are called upon to do the things that are unpleasant, dangerous, and, frankly, scary. I think they have these characteristics because it allows them the ability to just suck it up and do it. It’s how men are wired. Men, also, have testosterone, which I don’t think needs any explanation. The downfall with this, is that I think men at their core seek power, leadership, command, and conquest. If left unchecked, this leads to some very bad things–very bad things indeed. Since the beginning of time, the world over, it has been men, in large part, that have wrecked havoc through violence and destruction. (Just keep reminding yourself that I don’t hate men.) Certainly, not all men are bad and I don’t mean to imply that at all. Most men use their strength for protection and to provide and for that I am extremely grateful.
So where do women fit into this? I believe that women have the beautiful ability to temper men. In a lot of instances throughout history it has often been women that set the moral authority of a group. We are the calm to the storm, the soft to the hard, the peace to the unsettled. My husband once said, “Can you imagine a world if it was just men? We’d all be fighting each other to the death constantly or trying to compete for something incessantly. Women make our world a place where you actually want to live.” I had to chuckle at that, because, well, it’s probably very true.
I cherish these things about being a woman. I love that we make a house, a home. I love that we add spice, color, and decorative pillows to the bed. Though men can be handsome, indeed, it is women that surround us with beauty and life. We literally do surround us all with life, as the givers of life through our wombs. We care about emotions. We care about scars and stories and romance. Where men can often take us to the brink of devastation, it is women that draw us back and remind us all that life is more than just conquest and competition: It is about beauty, relationships, and always love.
Throughout my growing up years, I was told, and often heard, that girls need to be more like men. We need to get out there and conquer the male world. We need to shed all that makes us inherently “woman” and step up to the plate and wrestle our way in there with the guys. I agree, to a point. We are capable of many things, but I reject being told I need to be more like a man. I reject the thought process that to be a woman and embrace all the things that make us such spectacular beings, is somehow wrong. We don’t need more men. We don’t need women to become more “man.” We need to learn to love and hold up all that makes women so special–not better–but special. This certainly doesn’t mean that we can’t be doctors, scientists, or, even racecar drivers. It doesn’t mean I believe we need to go back to when women couldn’t vote. But, something has happened along this road…women are losing that temper to man’s callousness and hardness. We are taking it on ourselves and it isn’t pretty.
Women have always been the champion for the vulnerable. I think this is partly because, we, ourselves have historically been vulnerable. We care for the sick, the dying, the hurt, the outcast, the forgotten. We want everyone included. We hate seeing tears and we want to heal your heart if we can. Which is why for the life of me, I can’t understand how women can side with abortion. I mean, for the love of God, what are we doing? This isn’t us? This kind of death and destruction is what men notoriously are known for, but we have joined their ranks and made our wombs a place of death. All in the name of choice. Yet, we used to choose beauty, love, and life. We used to step in and say, “No more! This ugliness, this brutality must end!” I fear that we have forgotten who we are. We are the ones that would give our very last breath for our children. We are the ones that proudly bear the many scars and stripes of childbirth and would do it all over again just to bring our children into the world. We would take our children’s pain, in any form, if it meant freeing them from it. And yet, we sit here and watch as our national total for dead, aborted babies ticks up to over 50 million.
I want us back. I want the kind of women that fight for the weakest. I want the kind of women that fight for those that can’t fight for themselves. I want the kind of women who look at an unwanted pregnancy, not as a choice, but as a life. I want the kind of women who see the beauty in all people, no matter how small. I want the kind of women that welcome life, not seek to destroy it, just because everything wasn’t planned out perfectly. I want women who will rally around the scared, new pregnant mother and say, “This baby is a blessing. I know you are scared, but we are here. We won’t leave you. How can we help?” This is where we are best. This is why we are here–to be the counter to violence and destruction. We are the growers, the nurturers, the planters, the makers of homes, the givers of life. We are better than this culture tells us to be. I pray that we remember who we are and that we look to these words:
“To women: You and I, being women, we have this tremendous thing in us, understanding love. I see that so beautifully in our people, in our poor women, who day after day, meet suffering, accept suffering for the sake of their children. I have seen mothers going without so many things, even resorting to begging, so that the children may have what they need.”
Women for eons have been characterized by our ability to give our all to those around us. I love that we are wired to be selfless, giving, and a safe, welcoming place. That’s what we do, we give ourselves. We give our bodies to our children through pregnancy, birth, nursing, and in a million other ways everyday. Why are we severing that by adopting this “me” mentality? “It’s my body, my choice.” Maybe. But, who wants to live in that kind of world? Consequently, there are millions of babies that aren’t allowed to live in this world, because we have grown calloused and hard. This isn’t beauty. This certainly isn’t love. Love gives all, even when you think you have no more to give. It gives even when it’s hard and uncomfortable and screws with your plans. I can’t say it enough–women, we are better than this. I pray that we wake up to the fact. These unborn children need us to be their champion and to be the safe place that we were intended to be.